The title of my post needs to be attributed to Oscar Wilde, I couldn't come up with a title that was as fitting on my own.
So Sunday morning I get a call from an old friend. She had recently moved to Alabama from our home state of Delaware. We don't really keep in close touch anymore. Just a phone call every few months to see what is new and we sometimes post to each other on Facebook, but we don't have the same type of relationship that we used to. There are a lot of reasons for this, mostly it is because she changed as a person, and I guess I've become less tolerant of the types of changes that she has gone through. I've seemed to have lost my patience with people, in particular stupid people who can't think for themselves. Anyway, that isn't the point of my post today. So I've lived in North Carolina for 5 years now and every year we go up to Delaware at least once to visit, sometimes twice. This past year I was up there three times to visit. Every single time I ask my friends if they want to meet up and hang out. I typically don't have a ton of time up there, but I can squeeze in a day or night or few hours for my friends if they are willing to do the same for me. Each time I was up there this year I called my friend and asked her if we could meet up and every time her answer was "you need to come to my house, I don't want to go anywhere." Mind you I try to meet up with as many people at once so I don't have to drive all over the fucking state to see everyone. I made reservations at a nice restaurant for us to have some wine and cheese and talk and then the plan was to go dancing if anyone wanted to (core group of us always goes dancing when I'm up). Well, my so-called best friend, couldn't be bothered, she said she was already in her pj's (at 5pm) and she didn't want to get dressed and come out, and that I should come to her house (where her kids and dogs and husband and his friends were- no thanks).
Now all of that is well and good, I understand just not being in the mood to go out, but it is every single time I'm up there. I don't think she fully comprehends that I sit in a car for 7 hours to drive up there each time I come for a visit, and that the last thing I want to do is drive to her house then sit on my ass on her couch and play with her kids, all the while ignoring all of my other friends in Delaware (of which I have quite a few- all willing to go out of their way to see me).
So, back to this phone call I get Sunday morning from her- she doesn't have much to say, doesn't ask much about me. She wants to know when I'm coming to visit her in Alabama, and could I come in December. It's the fucking end of October, and she wants to know if I can come visit her in December. She doesn't think that maybe I can't afford it, or maybe I can't take off from work (both entirely true). She doesn't think that maybe I just don't fucking feel like coming to visit her and her family when they have been through North Carolina 10 times in the past year (in the process of moving to Alabama) and I have invited her to come visit me every single time I've spoken to her for five goddamn years and she has NEVER ONCE ATTEMPTED TO VISIT ME!!! Yet she has the fucking balls to try to guilt me into coming to visit her and see her "new house".
This really irritates me. Like I said we've been here for five years and I always invite my friends down to visit. Two of my fiance's friends have come down to visit for long weekends, but none of my friends can be bothered. Granted, my friends typically have families and other obligations that his bachelor friends just don't have, but I still think that if they truly wanted to, they could make a point to come see me. Is that really too much to ask? I would happily go visit my friend if she had once made an attempt to come visit me. I've been here lonely with no one for a very long time (of course I've since made friends here- but that was only recently and old friends are not the same as new ones). She has all of her in laws and friends who moved to Alabama with her. I had no one and I think that she is selfish to think that I'm just going to drop everything because she chose to make this change in her life and now everyone has to appease her.
I'm not going to visit her in December, or ever until she realizes that she's never once even thought about visiting me. I have my wedding to plan this year, our cruise that we are taking, I'm trying to buy a new car, and I'm trying to sell my current house and buy a new one myself. It's time that I think about myself for once and stop worrying what everyone else is going to think about me if I don't do what they want me to do. I can't keep putting my life on hold for everyone else. I did it this whole year due to my sister's wedding, and now that the whole fiasco is over with, I need to get back to my reality.
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